One of the challenges of coaching is the core competency of direct communication. Direct communication is when a coach shares with a client what they are observing, thinking, or feeling. It is an opportunity for us to share what we are seeing or noticing without judgment or opinion, without driving the agenda or any attachment to being right.
And we share our observations for one reason only – to help our client to see their situation from another perspective and to evoke awareness and new possibilities.
But what holds us back is a misconception about what will happen if the client resists or rejects our observation. What if I am wrong? What if it’s leading? What if the client doesn’t ‘get’ what I am sensing? Where do I go from there?
Here are 3 steps that can help you when this happens:
1. Manage that first reaction. Recognize that it is normal to have a reaction.
2. Perhaps I was leading. Ok, let it go. Don’t let it compromise the coaching.
3. If the client rejects your observation. Think redirection. Lean into the ‘redirect’. Be curious. Listen with your whole self.
Remember direct communication can be uncomfortable. But so is growth. If one is in service to that possibility then all the more reason to share with your client what you are noticing, even when the discomfort is on your end.
To learn and practice this competency as well others, check out my mentor groups especially if you need mentor hours for your ICF credential application. There’s something for every coach there.
The Coach’s Couch
It’s lonely out there. What’s a coach to do? Well, my fellow coaches Emily and Rebecca have created an amazing Facebook group supporting new coaches in all areas of their profession.
It’s a neutral space to practice your coaching skills with other coaches so you can gain confidence, ask all of your burning questions, do research about niches and projects you’re working on, swap testimonials, and build up your ICF barter hours to get you to your certification goals.
Check it out here https://www.facebook.com/groups/coachscouch/about
