We only have control up to the point that we can do something, but we do not have control over the outcome.
Anxiety does not need to be eliminated because anxiety in and of itself is not the issue. It’s our resistance and our reaction to anxiety that causes us problems.
Audios from two mentor coaching calls on
How to coach around the Coronavirus
March 18, 2020: https://www.audioacrobat.com/playv/WRRHzkQs
March 26, 2020: https://www.audioacrobat.com/playv/WwNyKrys
CARE AND FEEDING OF THE COACH
1. Find new ways to connect with co-workers, friends and family.
Get a coach or some mentoring. Create a virtual happy hour — mocktails welcome — or game night. Get creative!”
2. Keep your daily routine as consistent as possible.
3. Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t.
What is the worst-case scenario?
How likely is the worst-case scenario?
What would you tell a friend going through this?”
What can you control and what can you do about that which you can control?
4. Call a HALTS – Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Sick
One thing you have power over is your own self-care and health practices which include getting rest, eating nutritious foods, staying hydrated, moving your body, washing your hands thoroughly and often, and practising social distancing. As for things you don’t have control over?
Work on learning to accept the unknown and the uneasy feelings that often accompany it.
Remind yourself that what’s going on is temporary and try to find comfort in knowing that we are all going through these tough times of uncertainty together.
5. Be extra gentle with yourself.
Instead of beating yourself up for not being as productive as you normally might be, practice self-compassion and give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can in some less-than-ideal circumstances.
Try to say simple, warm things to yourself every day: ‘Today, I’m giving myself a wider margin of error. I’m going to allow myself to do what I can to go with the flow,’ Or, ‘Saving energy is today’s version of productivity.
6. Cut back on your media exposure.
7. Keep things in perspective.
8. Know that a little bit of anxiety isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Full-on panic in times of distress is unproductive, but a small dose of fear or anxiety can actually be helpful. These emotions, however unpleasant, motivate us to prepare for and protect ourselves against potentially dangerous situations.Knowing that anxiety has served us and got us this far and that it cues us up for survival has been really helpful for me, because a lot of times what happens is we feel anxiety and we think, oh, my gosh, something’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t feel this all the time. I don’t want anyone to know how anxious I am all the time I’m just a little scaredy-cat or whatever. By observing our own anxiety, it gives us a moment of relief and a moment of perspective. If I allow you to do something. Just think about the word allow. I am going to allow you to do something. It immediately gives me authority over it. I feel empowered because I’m allowing it.If I allow the anxiety, all of a sudden feel a sense of authority and a sense of control. And even sometimes a sense of mastery.
It doesn’t make the anxiety go away. But as soon as I allow it, my sense of control comes back.
So, think about that when you’re feeling anxious. Can you allow it?
COACHING THE CLIENT
1. Normalize the situation – makes perfect sense
2. Empathize – don’t co-conspire
Shared belief syndrome
3. Listen hard. More than usual
Shower Appreciation on the other person while listen
Wait for an energy shift before seeking agreement
4. Coach the person, not the problem – the problem here is COV19, and its effect but what is making it a problem for this person uncertainty, control, lonely, tired?
It is so very tempting to coach the problem here.
We don’t want to jump into strategies for preventing or coping with those around you who may be affected.
We want to acknowledge and validate their concerns and uncover the underlying thought or belief that is causing the discomfort
5. DO NOT TRY TO ACTIVELY MAKE THE CLIENT FEEL BETTER
HAVE NO AGENDA!
6. THE ACTION HERE MAY BE A ‘FEELING OF CALM OR ACCEPTANCE” NOT NECESSARILY DOING SOMETHING
7. Be willingly to suggest additional supports – therapy, doctor visit etc.
