I was not a great listener. Before coaching I’d describe myself as a great listener. But in reality, I was a great “fixer”. Literally a political fixer. And my listening skills were … well let’s just say. I listened to argue, to solve, or to persuade with my opinions.
Then I came to coaching and slowly – painfully so at times – practiced the art of really listening with the intent to learn, to see, hear, and understand others and why they were finding their situation challenging, uncomfortable or exciting and energizing.
I learned to listen to what they weren’t saying, those throw away remarks like, “I’m having a horrible time with my mother today, but I want to talk about my supervisor at work.”
A masterful coach knows to ask a question about the Mom situation despite their client’s dismissiveness. This is just the right time to ask yourself: “Why are they telling me this?” These offhand remarks are often significant – the key to understanding what makes it a problem for them. Their perspective – expressed in their actions, words, and thoughts This is masterful listening. The most powerful coaches move quickly through the ‘story’ and delve into perspective.
Want more coaching tips and tricks? Join my new mentor coaching groups starting September 26th. Groups are limited to 10 participants so reserve your spot asap. message me about special discounts.
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